When did we as men, real men, decide that it was ok to wear these atrocities? In my mind sandals and flip-flops have always belonged to women. Kinda' like how jock straps belong to men. When did scraggly yellow toenailed old men all of a sudden decide, hey world, I'm going to subject you to my ugly feet, look at these fuckers! What man goes shopping and sees a pair a sandals and goes, man, those are kick ass, I sure bet they'll keep my feet cool on those long summer days! Or do they get all giggly like girls and just have to have those pretty sandals? What the fuck is wrong with you guys? No chick wants to see a man in sandals. Thats the bottem fucking line. Mens feet are vile. I don't care how well kept they are, they are disgusting.
When I see some guy in sweat stained smelly sandals I just want to stomp on his feet or smash them into a bloody mist with a sledgehammer. I'm not kidding.
Ok, women are a different story, to a degree. If you're a well maintained chick, with nice nail polish and all that, feel free to sandal up, but take your flip-flops outside and burn them without further ado. Flip-flops on a chick is almost as bad as hearing them fart in my book. Seeing the dirty feet, sweatily slipping around on whatever foam rubber they're made of, hearing that wet smack at every step and doing the flip-flop shuffle walk is a GIANT turn off. Its not cute and its just a form of laziness not putting on a pair of goddamn shoes. Women go to great pains everyday to look their best with make up, hairstyling and all that and then they slide on a smelly ass pair of flip-flops. Wtf?
So men, be very careful in choosing your footwear this summer, that guy you see with the sledgehammer resting on his shoulder just might be me, waiting for the right moment to explode your ugly thick nailed tootsies.
Sinister
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