Knock it off with the goddamn flip-flops.

My sister recently tagged me in an article about one mans disgust of flip-flops (she knows my repulsion to these vile things)  and while well written, it seemed a bit kind hearted. I propose that I should legally be deputized to carry a fucking sledgehammer and be able to smash any guys feet wearing them, or sandals. 

When did we as men, real men, decide that it was ok to wear these atrocities? In my mind sandals and flip-flops have always belonged to women. Kinda' like how jock straps belong to men. When did scraggly yellow toenailed old men all of a sudden decide, hey world, I'm going to subject you to my ugly feet, look at these fuckers! What man goes shopping and sees a pair a sandals and goes, man, those are kick ass, I sure bet they'll keep my feet cool on those long summer days! Or do they get all giggly like girls and just have to have those pretty sandals? What the fuck is wrong with you guys? No chick wants to see a man in sandals. Thats the bottem fucking line. Mens feet are vile. I don't care how well kept they are, they are disgusting. 

When I see some guy in sweat stained smelly sandals I just want to stomp on his feet or smash them into a bloody mist with a sledgehammer. I'm not kidding. 

Ok, women are a different story, to a degree. If you're a well maintained chick, with nice nail polish and all that, feel free to sandal up, but take your flip-flops outside and burn them without further ado. Flip-flops on a chick is almost as bad as hearing them fart in my book. Seeing the dirty feet, sweatily slipping around on whatever foam rubber they're made of, hearing that wet smack at every step and doing the flip-flop shuffle walk is a GIANT turn off. Its not cute and its just a form of laziness not putting on a pair of goddamn shoes. Women go to great pains everyday to look their best with make up, hairstyling and all that and then they slide on a smelly ass pair of flip-flops. Wtf? 

So men, be very careful in choosing your footwear this summer, that guy you see with the sledgehammer resting on his shoulder just might be me, waiting for the right moment to explode your ugly thick nailed tootsies. 

Sinister

Rome is burning, but heres some cool Lone Ranger shit you might not know.

And we're talking about the original Lone Ranger, not the Johnny Depp turd here..

1) Originally, the Lone Ranger and Tonto rode on the same horse, Silver, but after seeing a publicity shot of them on it together, WXYZ big cheeses thought it looked kinda gay and gave Tonto his own horse "Scout" No shit.

2) The Lone Ranger used silver bullets because they represented purity, justice and was a reminder of the heavy cost a loaded gun could cause. His horse "Silver" also had solid silver horseshoes! 

3) So where did LR get all the scratch to pay for all this silver shit? Him and his bro owned a silver mine that they were gonna retire off someday, a retired Texas Ranger named Dan Blaine knew his secret identity and agreed to work the mine and make all the bitchin' silver shit for him.

4) (Now this is where shit gets cool) The Green Hornet was the Lone Rangers nephew's grandson! Britt Reid, the Green Hornet, was a publishing mogul, and his publishing company was funded by The Lone Ranger and his bro's silver mine! Hence the green Lone Ranger style mask! Badass!

There isn't however any connection between Tonto and Green Hornets sidekick Kato, that would've been bitchin' 

5) Tonto called LR "Kemosabe" (there are like 100 different ways they spell it, I'm just going with this one) It means "Faithful Friend" or "Trusty Scout" or some shit.

6) Clayton Moore who played the TV Lone Ranger did NOT go batshit later in life and think he really was the Lone Ranger, he truely believed in the character and knew that like, millions of brats looked up to him and Jay Silverheels (Tonto) as heros and role models, so he and Jay lived their lives pretty goddamn wholesome, not getting involved in horseshit that would taint the names, on or off set. They never smoked, drank or acted shitty while in costume because they didn't want some kid to see them all wasted or acting like a dick. Thats some pretty fuckin huge dedication to what they were a part of. 

7) In the story of The Lone Ranger, his bro, Dan Reid and some other Texas Rangers get croaked by some gangster fuckers and The Lone Ranger vows to bring them to justice and shit, splitting from the Texas Rangers and making a mask out of his dead bro's vest. In the TV show, the real mask in the black and white episodes was made outta purple felt! But when they switched to color, it was black. Clayton Moore said that they were made out of plaster with felt stretched over them.

8) We never know The Lone Ranger's first name, he is only referenced as "Reid" Later, in like the 70's or something, a crapper LR movie was made and it was revealed as "John" and later, in comicbook rehashings, they start using John because of that goddamn movie. Purists call bullshit on it. The movie was a horrid flop. The Lone Ranger is just goddamn "Reid" in my opinion.

9) Tonto was made a Potowatomie indian by WXYZ (Michigan) television, an actual Indian tribe in and around Michigan. Tonto saved The Lone Rangers ass when he found him shot up and bleeding all over the place while he was hunting grub and shit. How a Michigan indian found an ex-Tex Ranger out west is a mystery to me. 

10)Clayton Moore kicked the bucket in 1999, and Jay Silverheels in 1980.

I know everyones all in love with Johnny Depp and his quirky characters and to be honest, I haven't seen the new movie yet. But as a little shit I got off on The Lone Ranger and even had the goddamn doll for Christsakes. I hope the new movie isn't a giant stupid turd, and I wish the kids of today would be forced at knifepoint or something to watch the old episodes. They were great. And they might actually get something good out of them. But they won't. Pass the fuckin X-Box controller and Cheetos.

-

Sinister

Business Startup

I am finding out that in order to start a business one must first not need a business. 

You must have 10's of thousands of dollars to open a storefront, impecable credit and literally no need to have one. If you cannot meet these criterias you are doomed to work as a modern day slave for companies whos sole interest is to fuck you with low wages, zero benifits and top of the food chain greed. 

You are conditioned to be kept in constant debt, therefore making you their humble servant, a dog for them to beat down into servitude. 

I believe in my business plan, I believe in my capabilities, I believe in it's potential. But thats just not enough.

The days of starting your own business and being independant are over for the great majority of Americans. The biggest fear of corporate America is you breaking the mold and becoming your own company..your own person. They want you right where you are. Helpless and debt dependant upon them. How dare you dream or have hope! How dare you want a better life than what we are willing to allot you! 

This is modern America.